When a high value relationship that you handled instinctually loses its rhythm and balance, what can you do constructively to regain momentum and sustain the relationship?
The relationship stalls. Two highly gifted individuals from two different firms met and felt a tremendous potential in their collaboration. There had initially been wonder, curiosity, creativity and a sense of exploration. True to that initial spark, their work together is a success. Inevitably, their time for collaboration comes to an end. There is no reason for these two to meet anymore.
One of the individuals in the relationship decides there is more potential in their collaboration. Together, he believes they could create so much more. He is unclear if the other perceives this potential and the possibility of more projects in the future. He reaches out to brainstorm with the EI coach, to gain perspective on the relationship and find ways to initiate a new stream of decisions/actions to advance collaboration.
High-potential relationships between individuals who genuinely connect at several levels should rarely be taken for granted. It could be a chance in a lifetime to co-create projects you would never be able to do without each other. The emotional intelligence framework powers navigational options to sustain complex, even volatile, high intensity relationships that have to be carefully tricked open to yield an interesting long term journey of genuine sustainable results.
The emotional intelligence framework and coaching generates some unexpected shifts in perspective. It gives the relationship a navigational map of possibility.
•Which emotions have been matured by the relationship?
•Where are the motivational levers in the relationship that may be activated?
•Which EI Lenses are at stake? The momentum of this relationship is no longer purely instinctual; it has to be made conscious.
•Honest questions have to be raised.
Does the relationship have enough of a
foundation for new branches of connectivity to
develop? Can new venues be dared?
US-Britain; Building a Special Relationship as Allies
Winston Churchill saw potential in the relationship with Roosevelt. The feeling had not been initially reciprocated. Yet Churchill persevered. As the threat of Nazi Germany grew larger, he decided to seize for Britain an ally from the Atlantic.
History records some 2000 letters that were exchanged between Churchill and Roosevelt during World War II. 196 meetings were organized in a variety of settings. Churchill courted Roosevelt through some of the most harrowing setbacks in the history of war for modern democracies. His perseverance, transparency, faith, resilience, spirit and courage throughout their collaboration moved Roosevelt to engage himself and finally his nation in the war.
Britain and the US emerged from this personal initiative between two remarkable men, as national allies. The friendship between these nations changed the fate of the western world.
Which EI Lenses governed this dynamic? Which emotions lead to the best creative breakthroughs?
Which emotions derailed the collaboration in unexpected ways with less than optimal decisions?
might never have
had a relationship.
Will never needs to work for a living; his single life edges on states of “flow”, the right level of variety and exertion to not disturb his conscience! Marcus the younger of the two, lives a very different life. Making ends meet is difficult for his single mom. She is over stretched, and Marcus recognizes her mental health is fragile. On an absolutely crazy impulse he decides to seek support for their lives in Will.
Marcus takes the risk to embed himself in Will’s routine. Will soon discovers that his life cannot return to the placid currents he had previously entertained. Events and new people began to place greater demands on his personality, competencies and resources. Will tries to shake off Marcus from his milieu and fails. Together man and boy, who might be perceived as a pair of random parts who never belonged together, have to discover constructive momentum builders, if they have to maintain their collaboration.
Cinema in terms of scene, setting, character and narrative illustrates the emotions governing the nuances of tone, speech, body language, facial expression and action, to communicate the unusual possibility, of collaboration between two unlikely individuals, who manage to help one another; mitigate their loneliness and fear, however casually.
About a Boy
(Dir. Paul & Chris Weitz; 2002)
The relationship between the two primary characters, man and boy; Will
and Marcus. Each transformed the other’s life. They
Copyright: Universal Pictures
EI Authors A Transformation:
Micro-scopic internal adjustments, can shift a human dynamic in profound ways. Emotional Intelligence is tactically skilled at teasing out a hidden insight in the project the two individuals have already developed, that might be nurtured so much more if they would jointly give it the time and resources to make it relevant for the market.
A map of the risks that maybe ventured is created. EI also makes apparent collaborative possibilities the relationship might otherwise ignore. Areas where they have had their most “moving” conversations.
For sometime it is scary for the client to work all those extra hours to initiate the possibility of new ventures that the other might not respond to. But building up the emotional momentum to make this a reality, is the work of the EI coach/consultant.
The perseverance to seek the opening, that rare opportunity when the new possibility becomes self-evident for both individuals, is another highlight of the EI process. It gives the client, the resilience to not cave in when the obstacles blocking the road look so large.
Projects worth their weight in revenue, talent and quality of work have all emerged for clients, who sought EI for this kind of problem definition.